3 Things: Dating after Divorce, Unhelpful Husband and dad, No consent equals…
“Late 30s dating…oof” #greenscreen
“We have a baby… why do I hate my husband?” #greenscreen
“Husband has secks with my whole I was sleeping.”
#burbnbougie #marriage #relationships #4bs #storytime #reddit #aita #emotionalstruggle #personalexperience #support
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The truth is most of these guys are paying to talk to bots most likely. 😂
2nd story: how about women think beforehaving kids with men that seem lazy when it comes to taking care of things and think how would it be having a kid with him if I already have to take care of the house cleaning & cooking duties ..
12:23 this is when you make an escape plan. Start putting money aside. Little by little. Do not complain or express your feelings, they don’t care. Quietly get your ducks in a row. Be the “perfect” partner until you are ready to go. Go above and beyond on purpose the whole time. We do not want to arouse suspicion. Then. When you have everything ready and in order, gather yourself and thevvaby. Visit your mil. Tell her you have to run to the store real quick, can you please watch the baby. And never look back. By then you’ll have a whole new number address. Send those divorce papers in the mail agreeing to let him have FULL custody and you’ll pay child support. File as an abused woman so he can’t get your new address or number. He can contact you through lawyers, the courts, and/or email. A designated meet and drop off for visitation. And a social worker to supervise those events. Because absolutely tf not.
Men are VERY transactional! Most deserve to be used for funds as they can’t even hold a conversation.
20:19 omg 😢 I hope she called the police. She was graped. Period point blank
#2=How come you didnt know you would be the default parent? Why do women continue to think men will change and be helpful when the baby comes.He sees it as womens work.Your situation wont get any better,You have 2 choices,"sit or get off the pot'.
Once the husband ignored his wife's "no" and then silenced her, "no." Is what it is.
I agree, you should not put the children on this dating apps, because some people who just want to date you because of the children as in grooming
And to think the government banning abortions and trying to ban birth control. Women getting the bad end of the stick all the way around. Women 999999.999999% of the time women are carrying the heavy load of child rearing while the guy walks free creating more babies. Ladies, wise up and protect your womb. You have control of your body NOT some d* mn government
Does the first man not realize that he too is a single parent and the women he selects would also be “auditioning” for step mom role? And seeing the kids in the photos is weird and creepy to him because he is obviously looking to purely s*xualize her and has no intentions of anything else. He is a huge red flag.
If I'm dating you, its for me, not my child. Most people especially males, are not good at parenting. Why do they think a woman should consider them qualified enough for that role?
First guy was just all kinds of red flags
❤
so much for "you get protection if you marry". The most dangerous person for women remains the man she lives with.
I can see why he is recently divorced with kids… I’m proud of his ex wife for leaving that marriage. Can you imagine being married to him? He seem insufferable..
Trigger warning for this comment (SA, sleeping, rugged, etc) and I don't mean to trauma dump….
but…
A few weeks ago I suddenly had ALL sorts of memories come to me from the beginning of my marriage (now divorced). Of between 50 and 100 times of him assaulting me on Ambien. I had TERRIBLE insomnia so I had to take a huge dose (per my doctor) and then he'd screw me. I'd wake up in insane pain… he told me I kept coming on to him. (here's the catch, he only "allowed" us to have sex once a day. no! matter!! what!!! And every one of those days, we'd already done it)
So I told him to stop. he said "how am I supposed to know you took it!?!?!?" which I sadly decided was fair. So I started to announce it. "I'm taking the Ambien. We're done for the night?"
It took months of me journaling any memory that came to me for me to realize that all I was actually doing was announcing to him "hey you're good to r me tonight, cause I won't remember!"
I'll never know what was in his sick head. But I think he was trying to baby trap me. (that's all I can guess). I'd ALWAYS lied to him that I was terrible about taking my bc…but I was actually perfect. I NEVER messed up. (Why did I lie, is a good question…! I'm not FULLY sure…. but part of it was so that I could demand condoms even in marriage. His man juice used to DESTROY me)
That all happened 17 or so years ago. And then…. I buried it SOOOOOO deep I never remembered it again until a few weeks ago!!! It's WILD how much trauma we can hold and not even know about it.
The second story just made me sad. So many women not getting any help right after having the baby. I get the feeling he might be cheating on her already. He's at the gym for extended periods of time, and then on his phone the minute he gets home…
I dont disagree with the guy about putting their kids in an online dating profile. Granted he didnt say how old these kids were but im assuming they r now grown children. That is the only acceptable scenario where i can see i clhding a pic of children in a dating profile.
He wasnt put off that they had kids. Im glad he actually was reading bios.
For the record NO im not on dating apps. I have been before which is why i strongly agree wit this guy – wouldnt want pics of anyone's kids on there! Listing accurate details n the bio should b sufficient.
Can't imagine why that first OP's partner divorced him, with the way he talks about kids and his pessimistic attitude. 🙄 Dude should just say he's childfree and go for casual hook-ups, if he's going to complain so much.
Rape charge OR divorce? Why not both?
The desperate women try to hide the fact that they have kids.
Story 1: it’s really his problem, so he’ll either figure it out or he will be alone, not my concern!
Story 2: I would suggest she make her husband get into the groove or just leave! I know it’s not that simple, but she sounds miserable, and this guy has her paying half on bills when she’s not working full time?? Who does that? I suggest setting their baby in his lap and go to the gym, take a walk, take a shower, have dinner w/friends (occasionally), and take naps! He has no right to expect her to go half on bills and go 90% on caretaking-that’s ridiculous! If he doesn’t know how to cook, he can get a food box subscription, look up Pinterest/Youtube, he can fix salads with different proteins, he can make sandwiches etc. he must contribute! I wouldn’t tell him-show him! As long as it’s not a danger to the baby it will help her to decompress. When it’s time to go to the bathroom just go, and add 10 extra minutes if he says “be quick” wtf does he think he is??
Story 3: unfortunately there’s no saving this relationship, he violated her in the worst way, she no longer feels safe, make an exit plan and get things in writing or document interactions for divorce court/ criminal case!!🤬😤
The first guy needs to date a woman just like him – a divorced, single mom who doesn’t want to get married again. Bet he doesn’t like women like that though which is why he’s having a hard time dating.
2nd story, she’s giving him too many excuses. He understands, he just doesn’t care.
the first story came to tell everyone hes a loser lol 😂
I don’t understand men who want to date us ladies in our 20s, there is absolutely no generational relatability with them. I think they just want a body of a 20 something woman and that’s it, I also think this makes them feel younger.
There's one thing the divorced dad said that I agree with: not having your kids meet who you're dating. Kids get attached and it hurts to lose people you like. So I agree with him regarding that aspect, but I wouldn't assume that including a picture with your kid means you are going to meet them. He's making an assumption. However, not meeting the kids may only be feasible in a 50/50 custody arrangement. Single parents with full custody and the kids don't have regular visitation with the other parent and without the resources or means to have it hire a sitter, may have to introduce who they're dating to their kids before they know if they're a keeper. I don't think it's a good idea, I wouldn't do it, but I don't want to judge. (Don't do it!)
I'm not gon' hold you… knowing what I know about pre-"📅"-tors online, the specific targeting of single mums, and how SOME moms do purposefully (or even unknowingly) exploit their kids, I agree that it is creepy to put your kids on the app with you.
I would filter out their faces for sure, but tbh showing that you have kids, especially if they're young, is a calling card for creeps and hobo-seggsuals. He's right on that one; I would never put my (imaginary) kids online, it's just not safe 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I disagree with you on the first story. The man is making some good points. Kids shouldn't be a focus point for dating. letting someone know you have kids before they start a potential relationship is a good idea, its laying the cards on the table, but they shouldn't be central to an adult relationship.
also predators hunt for victims on dating apps. and the solo mums are putting up what the predators have to pick from. The predators will pay all those fees to snag her. This is why kids shouldn't be the main feature of an adult relationship.
My ex was like the husband that did nothing. I ended up spitting in his face and telling him to leave and to this day I do not regret spitting in him. She needs to leave put him on child support and change the babies last name. And I hope she doesn’t speak a good word to that child about that male.
He says the childless woman doesn't understand the risk of bringing someone around his kids, but that's a version of the risk women have to worry about whether we have kids or not. We have to weigh the risk to our lives by bringing a man into our lives period. Most of the time when they talk about risk, they're speaking from a place of privilege because they've never had to wonder if accepting a dinner invitation will risk their bodies and lives. He didn't even seem to be considering the physical risk of introducing a woman to his kids, only the emotional risk of them getting attacked to someone who won't be sticking around, which is extremely important too, don't get me wrong, but I don't think physical risk factors into his mind at all.
Story 2- Throw the whole man out! He's a loser and doesn't deserve a wife or kids. Screw that guy!!! 🤬
#2 I need women to stop saying "He doesn't understand". You're making excuses even when you're accusing him. He understands perfectly well which is why he's not doing it. Get a ring camera get a few of them. In the common areas when he gets home walk out that door with your gym bag (don't let him know about the cameras) and see how he handles it.
That should allay your fears about your child's safety one way or another. If he neglects his child you divorce him and make sure you get full custody if he's perfectly capable of dealing with his child and is just chosen not to ( a disturbingly common phenomenon) It's time for you to start carving out more time for yourself.
He seeks to minimize your labor so that he doesn't have to do it. But you can't have it both ways. Either what you do is easy in which case he needs to show up to do it just as much as you, or what you do is incredibly difficult at which point you need a break and he needs to acknowledge that with a smile on his face and gratitude in his heart.
Men extort women into taking all of the child care onto themselves I am convinced of this. I am further convinced that if you refuse to participate, SOME of them will pull their socks up.
As for the people asking why he wanted to have children that seems obvious, given the way he's been making derogatory comments about her body he was trying to sabotage her ability to leave him and acquire mommy services.
I would argue this is the most common reason that deadbeat fathers have children to begin with. But birthright needs to continue to plummet as long as there's little to no consequences for men who behave this way.
1:30 It’s funny because women aren’t given a chance to pay for a like or just one email. Women are forced to sign up for a subscription in order to see more matches, like or respond. They don’t make the big money off men.
Single father dater doesn't like it when women post pics of themselves with their children. I guess it reminds him that they won't be centreing him in a potential relationship.
However I DO agree with him, but for other reasons. Such pictures could invite pdf files.
All these men suck
“It makes me feel like you’re saying you are a packaged deal, which IMO is stupid” But…a woman with kids IS a packaged deal just like him and his child/ren, TF?! 🤨 I can see why having the child in the profile pic being weird for OTHER reasons, but not his reason. He’s sounds insufferable 🙄
20:34 thanks to feminism, martial gRape can be grind for divorce and can be punishable by law now. Thank you feminism!
Much rather have a pet than a partner
1# So, who's gonna tell him:
The less attractive you are, the more the algorithm of dating apps flings you to the bottom of the stack.
Just because SHE isn't an filtered to the gawds baddie, doesn't mean you have a chance.
Beauty (to a point) is subjective. So expecting to be inundated with attractive women when the ratio of women to men is already skewed AND being a mediocre ♂️ at BEST means the "doom scrolling" is.part of your life now.
You aren't hiding your contempt very well in your interactions with women. You think you are… But you aren't.
You can generally get a more attractive ♀️ for a relationship than for casual seggs… But unfortunately you have to put ACTUAL EFFORT into being a more appealing partner than you have in the last few years of your marriage. Most men balk at this (Here's where the tolerable level of permanent unhappiness comes in) and expect to be able to pick up a New and Improved Stepford Wife™ at the wife store the moment your current wife displeases you.
And even WITH a 50/50 custody split alot of women are not going to trust him to ACTUALLY take care of his children rather than farm out his responsibilities onto the new woman.
Oh, and baby mama drama couples with toxic behaviors on again/off again relationships, diminished earnings/wage garnishment and "we are still sleeping together but are ALSO looking for a better partner pretty much means MOST women are going to be cautious with him.
Stay safe out there🥰
Having a baby in 2024 (let alone with a clueless husband/partner) is like smoking cigarettes or using a fax machine. People still do that?
Have you recently became a widow in 2023. We had two dogs passed away before my husband died. I am not looking forward to the dating scene. I will most likely get a dog before I get a new man
20 years olds don’t want relationships that lead to marriage, kids, and a house? Or he wants to waste young woman’s time until she’s ready for that stuff and dip?
I was listening to this while walking my pit bull 😂😂😂